Sneak peek at dat Dickhoad column in de Nation tomorrow

• Olden daze. Dat ol’ pizza man on Baxters
• Goats
• My shriveled dick
• Veoma above me, below me, singing in the bath
• Toe-curlingly embarrassing joke about my septuagenarian reproductive apparatus
• Another deeply embarrassing joke about my dick
• My jazz combo
• More goats
• Hang the homos
• Fuck the joos
• Fuck the CSME
• Bring back the cat
• Er, national treasure
• Er, Tony Webster
• My sister-in-law can make an entire newspaper column out of comments sections in other media and her visits to the 17 presentations she graced with her presence at various hotels this week. That’s a money-spinner. Fa shure!!!
• Be the turd world for absolutely fucking ever.
• Er … heah? Smiley face.
• Like me on Facebook. PUH-LEEESE. Dat what de grands read, de FB.

De big boss engineers do be guiding we, honest, like at the Louvre. Heah??!!??